Monthly Archives: January 2011

Tianjin Forward Carpets Engages Chinglish Gear

Engage, captain! Unhappy about just engaging Forward Gear, Tianjin’s carpet makers engage… Chinglish Gear… Tianjin is famous for having some crazy company names. I’ve run into KTVs declaring themselves the BIG DIVINE SERVICE KTV, and if you think that’s excessive, … Continue reading

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Great Food from “New Orlean” — As Found In Beijing

I have to say — when you bang into someone (especially girls) here in China that have good command of the English language, they blast off like a rocket and there’s little you can do to stop engaging them in … Continue reading

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(Pinyin + English + Chinglish) x Randomness =

This is the worst language-related formula ever! Consider me lost. First, on the top: “Daxing No. 5 Middle School” and the “Huangcun Railway Station”. Immediately below that: weird Pinyinese: DAXINGQU DIBA XIAOXUE and the ultra-long in name BEIJINGYIDONG DAXING FENGONGSI. … Continue reading

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Toilet Chinglish: The LORD is watching over you…

For us gents, we can choose between doing “Number 1” in the Men’s Room or (for absolute emergencies) letting a massive explosion rip in the “Number 2” rooms. More often than not, it’s a simple case of a “Number 1”. … Continue reading

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Risk of an electric WHAT?

Sometimes, the best Chinglish in the land are the unfinished ones. This one’s a total classic… Whereupon we are merely reduced to asking ourselves numbly: Risk of an electric WHAT? What It Should Read: Risk of an electric shock (better: … Continue reading

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The Corniest Audiovisual Chinglish

No idea where I found this… but it has to be pretty weird… How about the ticker you see in many a radio / audio set in your car… you know, the one that goes FM 87.6, FM 90.5, FM … Continue reading

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Private Airport Lounges: You Must SING to CALL the Waiter!

The best things about private airport lounges are (a) I get access to these things; (b) you get a room to yourself (if nobody else is there at that time). So if you feel like playing Robbie Williams at 400 … Continue reading

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U-Turn OK!… says Tianjin Metro

If there is any one place, or any one Metro system in the world, where a U-turn is OK… that’d be the Tianjin Metro! No ox. (That’s a nicer way of saying “no b•ll”.) Take a look at this… Well, … Continue reading

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KTV Weirdness, Chinglish Included…

It is amazing what these KTV stores are thinking of… or what they might offer you…! • Same Song KTV: Cool, except for that you’re only able to sing one song — and you’re condemned to doing that with the … Continue reading

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Chinglish So Bad, You’ll Want To Puke

The one thing that throws me off about Chinglish is — well, how lethal the thing can get. Dude, I swear, the moment you see this… …you’ll want to puke, all right… The thing looks like a pack of cigarettes, … Continue reading

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