Category Archives: Beijing

Emerica the Beautiful

Emerica, Emerica… Yep, indeed. It’s no longer just America that’s entitled to be “the Beautiful”. The Chinese Shanzhai variant, Emerica, has equal rights for that… I can only hope that the United States doesn’t sue this Shanzhai company — you’ll render … Continue reading

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Do Not Pause When You See Fire Facilities

There’s no need to be polite about it — just help yourself to the thing. Don’t dare pause — not even for a split sec! It’s either that — or a sign that you’re in a passageway to be kept free … Continue reading

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Canger! Chinglish Shock!

Everywhere else, electric shocks are dangerous. In China, it’s considered more something that’s cangerous… That’s a sure sign of cangerous Chinglish. Oops. I smell a typo… that C key isn’t too far from the D key, I take it… What … Continue reading

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When You Take the Escalator… with Chinglish on it…

I’m at a loss for words. This sign just outright doesn’t make sense. It — like — ends halfway through where it’s not supposed to end! It’s madness total. When you take the elevator safety… what will happen?… Plus, it’s … Continue reading

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The Orders are Wrong!

Somehow, I’m sold that Beijing still hasn’t gotten its orders right. As I learnt it the right way in Switzerland, we’re to start with the 1st carriage, then the 2nd, 3rd and 4th… then the 5th, 6th, 7th and onward. … Continue reading

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Slipping In Some Slipped Chinglish

I’ve slipped in some Chinglish and now y’all are all slipped! Probably this sign carries a bit of “wishful thinking” in that it “wishes” upon those who read it — a quick slip — so that you’re on the floor reading this. … Continue reading

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No Push, No Pull, Yes Chinglish…!?

OK, then get me out of here! I’m stuck… in a place where I can neither pull nor push a — freakin’ door! This bit of classical Chinglish finds itself on a folding door. It’s unique in that it can’t be … Continue reading

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Heilongjiang’s Model of Civilized Chinglish Windows…?

To Heilongjiang, an uncivilized window would be one where it’d be dirty, rotten, smashed, and full of obnoxious Chinglish. Either that, or… At times, the Chinglish here can just be amazing. If all you are reduced to doing in the … Continue reading

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Carrefour Chinglish: What A Laughathon!

My wife and I had a field day during our first Carrefour adventure. The Chinglish was just awesome. Let’s just go through a few… Check Points: Null problemo… Good condition of the window: OK, like no scratches or stuff… Trolley … Continue reading

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Ramping Slowly to the Tune of… Chinglish

To do Chinglish right in a car park, not only do you have to roll up the ramp slowly, but you also have to — ramp slowly. As in — make the ramp thingy a verb… Either that, or it probably means … Continue reading

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