In no particular order… Some of the craziest Chinglish I’ve ever seen. If you see a date and place that’s Chinglish I’ve snapped!
Colour coding: The text in red shows you the crazy Chinglish as-is (along with the Chinese text in brackets). What you see in green is the proper English that’s, well, probably less hilarious, but much easier to make sense of. My commentary and a date and place (if I took the Chinglish pic myself) are shown in italics. Got it? Let’s go…
- FUCK THE CERTAIN PRICE OF GOODS
DRY GOODS WEIGH DESK
Probably they decided to go after the artificially inflated price of these goods after all…
- ACCIDENT MUCH ROAD
Accident Much Road: You mean, oh, I get it: potholes, broken cars, vans on fire… yiiikes…
December 2008, Tangshan
- ENTER THE MOUTH
Just because you’ve gone into somewhere doesn’t mean you’ve entered someone else’s big mouth…
- RACIST PARK
ETHNIC GROUP THEME PARK
Carving out a theme park for the ethnicities = is that racist?…
Autumn 2006, Beijing
- UP AND DOWN PLACES TEMPORARILY
TEMPORARY BUS STOP
Makes your eyes go up and down when you read this sign…
February 2011, Chengdu
- DISS POND
Just because you’re taking a twinkle doesn’t mean you’ve got to be dissed…
- TO STARBARK FROM OTHER DOOR
(No Chinese text)
TO STARBUCKS PLEASE USE OTHER DOOR
It’s scary when the Siren becomes a dog and starts barking out loud…
May 2005, Beijing
- DON’T FORGET TO CARRY YOUR THING
DON’T FORGET YOUR BELONGINGS
Question is: WHAT thing?…
- MAINTAIN THE DISTANCE BETWEEN VEHICIES TO PREVENT FEAR-END COIIISION
KEEP A SAFE DISTANCE TO AVOID REAR END COLLISIONS
Fear-ended collisions. Sounds outright fearful to me…
January 2011, Tianjin
- Please do not jump off the platform or get into the orbit. Get on and off the train until the moving train is stabilized.
(禁止 … 跳下站台、进入铁道线路等，禁止随未停稳的列车奔跑和抓上、抢下。)
Never jump off the platform or jump onto the tracks. Do not chase trains or get on or off until the train comes to a complete stop.
This is NUTS: orbiting trains asking you to get on or off until the thing is stabilized. Riiight…
February 2011, Chinese HSR magazine
- After first under on, do riding with civility
Please let passengers exit first
Wait — first is after, is on, or is what-er?
- Muslim restaurant, decline self simultaneous food
Muslim restaurant. No outside food allowed.
That self simultaneous food sounds like a novelty. Too bad we can’t take it in…
February 2010, Beijing
Found at the toilets, probably. Thing is: can anyone come out with a female man?
- AUTOMATIC FAUCET
AUTO SENSOR TAP
Unnecessary touching! Unnecessary Chinglish…
November 2009, Beijing
- No Louding
So you are saying that quieting is OK. Right?
- Synthesized south station
South Railway Station Transport Hub
That sounds like an artificial thingamajig!
February 2011, Chengdu
- This There Please
- From This Come Back
Return This Way
I’m still lost.
Summer 2007, Tanzhe Temple, Beijing
- Rush Hour W.C
Do I have to pay a congestion charge to use that?
- Automobile parking on holiday
Parking lot for cars during holidays
You mean this car park thing can actually go on holiday? Wow. And it ain’t even a living thing…
January 2010, Taiwan
- DEFORMED MAN TOILET
TOILET FOR HANDICAPPED PERSONS
Note to self: Use this only when mutilated.
- Driving a motorcycle helmets
Wear helmets when riding motorcycles
Chinglish thing stopped halfway through. Driving a motorcycle helmets WHAT!?…
January 2010, Xushui, Hebei
- ENGINE ROOM IS SERIOUS PLACE
MACHINE ROOM – NO UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY
Yes, it indeed is.
- PESTROOMS-MEN / PESTROOMS-WOMEN
(男卫生间 / 女卫生间)
RESTROOMS-MEN / RESTROOMS-WOMEN
Yep, those men sure are pests. Oh wait. The women are, too… Nuts…
October 2005, Tianjin
- EIRE-FIGHTING EQUIEPMENT BOX
FIRE EXTINGUISHER BOX
You’ve just upset the Irish (Eire).
- ANTI-EARTHQUAKE MEMORIAL
TANGSHAN EARTHQUAKE MEMORIAL
Humankind has been anti-earthquake since day one, but this sign’s overdoing it…
December 2009, Tangshan
Policemantellyou: IfyouwantvisitjadecloundRoad Pleasetakecarcofyourself
Visitors to Jade Cloud Road should proceed with caution.
Super long, and just plain weird. No spaces, either!
- STAIRS CONNECTED
I’d hate to think what would happen if the stairs weren’t connected…
May 2010, Beijing
- The peddler management are forbid go up landing stage
Unauthorized vendors are not permitted on the bridge
Peddler… management… landing stage. Stage. Say — an open air café?
- Vindicate System
System Under Maintenance
Remember not to blame that machine! It’s under maintenance…
May 2010, Shanghai
- IF YOU HAVE ANY TROUBLE PLEASE ASK FOR THE POLICEMAN
THE POLICE ARE HERE TO HELP WITH ANY PROBLEMS
Cool. I just had a great day. Now let me ruin it by calling n the cops!
- ONLY CLEAN COMPANY
If you’re a dirty company — you need not apply…
May 2009, Beijing
- SMOKING IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED IF YOU WILL BE FINED 50 YUAN
(院内严禁烟火，违者罚款 50 元)
NO SMOKING. PENALTY FOR VIOLATORS: 50 YUAN
So you mean I can smoke away at will if I refuse to be fined?
- Sydney Juice
Snow Pear Juice
Actually, I’d have favoured a bit of Perth Juice, mate… or Melbourne Juice… or maybe Foster’s, rather…
February 2011, Chengdu
- DANGER! INHIBITION ASTRADDLE TRANSGRESS
DANGER! KEEP OUT!
DANGER! PRESENCE OF SUPER-DIFFICULT-TO-COMPREHEND CHINGLISH!
- MONGOLIA TO BAKE COMPLETE SHEEP
MONGOLIAN BAKED WHOLE SHEEP
Oh man. Mongolia just got brutal…
August 2011, Beijing
- The large scale demonstration of new energy auto in Jinan city
Ji’nan New Energy Bus Model
Oh great. Those green buses are on the road protesting again…
June 2011, Ji’nan
- Taxi rise and fall station
When you mix taxis with too much Craig David… (“it’s what they call… the rise and fall…”)
- Detrainment Lane
Drop Off Lane
Detrainment. It sounds like a train accident…
May 2011, Shanghai
- Sex of Gender
Your sex might be male, but how about your sex of gender?…
March 2011, Beijing
- Six-foot-tall please forward
Exit This Way
(Note: This sign is only for people six feet in height.)
- Be cautious with the slope
Please mind your step
Yes, it’s that ____ slope.
April 2011, Beijing